This is a post of celebration and gratitude.
For my emotional dawn is breaking.
After months in the dark I can finally feel myself starting to rise out of a period of blackness that took me to places lower than I had ever been before.
And now as life blossoms anew around me, I can feel life beginning to blossom once more within me.
What a feeling of rebirth, of relief, of delight. And what a long, strange trip it has been.
Three years ago...
I was given the incredible opportunity and responsibility to lead a major contract as a part of the construction of one of the pre-eminent forensic crime labs in North America.
The process, the journey, has taken me to the very edge of myself. I was pushed to my professional and personal limits....and then beyond those limits and anything I had previously thought possible for myself.
I was afraid.
I have never been afraid before, not like this. There was something extremely vulnerable and transparent about being at the edge of myself. People near me saw my fear. They saw my anguish...despite all my best efforts to hide it.
I learned I can't be proud and broken at the same time.
I learned no matter how alone I felt, I wasn't.
So this is also a post of on-my-knees, tears-in-my-eyes gratitude to the people who have loved on me, cared for me, prayed for me, and waited patiently for me as this journey wound us around some incredible heights and through some treacherous valleys.
More amazing still than reaching the finish line of my personal marathon was finding this team of beautiful individuals waiting there with blankets and water to nourish me, cigars and champagne to celebrate with me.
You can't climb mountains by yourself.
Through this whole adventure one of my greatest lessons has been this: you can't climb mountains by yourself. You need a support team whom you can trust implicitly.
- Who will never give up on you.
- Who will love you the way you need to be loved
- Who quietly stand beside you when you feel all alone.
And you will need to trust them when they tell you the truths you can't (or don't want to) see for yourself.
For we are made to live in community. If you want to go fast go alone; if you want to go far you will need a team.
Winter is over. Spring is come.
I am sitting on my porch.
The magnolia tree in front of me is in full bloom.
The breeze is cool and fresh.
The sun is warm and life-giving.
My journey is coming to an end.
Your journey may just be beginning.
Or maybe you are in a place that just plain sucks.
Here are my encouragements to you:
- Know you are capable of more than you think you are.
- There is room to grow between your perceived limits and The Limit. That space in between is where your true greatness lives.
- Find your team. There are people who love and believe in you, and you do a disservice to both them and yourself if you withhold the opportunity for them to actively love you through your journey.
- It won't always be like this. Keep moving forward. Lean into the headwinds. Remember, every step forward is a step closer to the finish line.
- And from my finish line I am cheering for you.
If my story reminds you of your path, please contact me. I would be honored to connect with you and talk about your story with you.
Right now I'm just happy to be back among the living.
Your friend,
Tim
